The Things We Do Without Thinking

I've been thinking about the little things we do when we care about someone.

Not the things we plan.

The ones that happen before we even realize we're doing them.

Like reaching for someone's hand in the middle of a walk.

Or gently fixing their collar while they're talking, as though it's the most natural thing in the world.

And then there are those moments when your hands apparently decide to act entirely on their own.

I remember having dinner once, sitting beside someone I was rather fond of.

We were talking, laughing, enjoying the evening.

And without even noticing, I started gently caressing his leg while he spoke.

Nothing dramatic.

Just a soft, absent-minded little gesture.

Until he looked at me.

With a rather surprised expression.

And suddenly I realized what I was doing.

Oh dear.

I think I turned approximately seventeen shades of red 🤭

I never quite figured out whether he enjoyed it or was simply wondering what on earth had just happened.

And I was far too embarrassed to ask.

But that's the funny thing about affection.

Sometimes it finds its way into our gestures long before we find the words for it.

Like sharing a song.

Not because someone asked for a music recommendation.

But because you hear something and think, This says exactly what I can't quite explain.

So you send it.

And hope the melody does a better job than you would.

Or that instinctive little movement when something frightens you and you immediately hide against someone's chest.

Not because you've thought about it.

But because, somehow, that's the first place you want to be.

And for a moment, the rest of the world feels a little less frightening.

I suppose those are the gestures I find most beautiful.

The ones that aren't rehearsed.

The ones we don't even notice until someone smiles, looks surprised, or gently pulls us a little closer.

And perhaps that's what makes them so lovely.

They're honest in a way words sometimes struggle to be.

Although I do think my hands could occasionally consult my brain before making romantic decisions on my behalf.

It would save me an extraordinary amount of blushing 🤭🤍

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